Parenting Philosophies Got Tossed Out With the Bath Water

Recently on FB there was a link to Where Child-Rearing PhilosophiesReally Come Frombeing shared and enjoyed by many parents. My comment was simple, “My philosophy is get through the day.”  I can’t take anything more complicated than that because getting through the day is hard enough.  Think about it – the basics are waking them up, feeding them and then getting them back in bed.  Any parent knows those are not simple parts of the day.

Throw out the philosophies not the kids.

Everyone can have a bad day.  Even babies.  There is a there are idioms like ” Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?”  Some days it’s hard to get motivated or every little thing irritates us.  There are so many factors in our lives there is no way to expect that we feel and react to each day the same way.  BUT… Moods spread. Faster than germs in a preschool.

For me a huge piece to my parenting philosophie has to do with accepting who my kids are, that we are all different and we are not going to react to things the same way. Accepting that does not mean tolerating whatever they throw at me and vice versa.

In our house taking a break or removing the mood from the rest of the house is key to not letting things hit disaster level. If that means I need to lock the doors and head to my room for a few minutes, make a new cup of tea/coffee, turn up the music really load (to drown out the screaming) or turn on the TV I will do it.  Kids have to find a place away from the rest of us until they feel they have their moods under control.  Not a better mood necessarily because it’s not always feasible but under control.

If I can’t get a break or it doesn’t work we get out of the house (you should have seen my Target receipts before I had kids in school). I have found my kids and I behave better in public because of the fear that people we know might see us. Peer pressure is not all bad.

Surviving the day is not the simple answer but getting through the day is enough.  Getting a hot shower, putting make-up on, going to the bathroom alone, reading a book, chatting with a friend…that’s just a bonus, right?