Posted on Apr 12, 2012 in Politics, social media | 4 comments

Why is Working Mom vs SAHM Such a Powerful Tool Against Women

Is this all my opinions are worth?

Twitter is a buzz today with the comments of Hilary Rosen on CNN last night (@hilaryr on Twitter) ”What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying, ‘Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues. And when I listen to my wife, that’s what I’m hearing.’ Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.” And the response by Ann Romney who joined Twitter to respond (but is not following anyone and does not seem to be participating in any more discussion) @AnnDRomney “I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.”

Apparently the DNC is distancing itself from Rosen but the bigger issue it what American women heard from these two ladies.

Does a SAHM mom not work? Do SAHM’s not contribute? Is being a SAHM a life of privilege? Yikes, what does this say about me?! I do think that I am lucky that I can stay at home with my 5 kids but it hasn’t been easy and a life of luxury.

Does a working mom just not care the same as a SAHM? Does she give up her ‘motherhood’ by working? If I decide to take on more work or an office job am I less committed to my children or family?

Or is the anger about luxury of choice?

And, then if you have the choice to stay home do you have less knowledge/understanding regarding economic issues facing American families?

Can we have this conversation without women polarizing each other? Women are at a new place in history in the terms of the job market and college graduation. That’s a lot of strength if we can work together.

Thanks to @PunditMom for sharing this (first place I saw this conversation) and my friend @MotherhoodMag for the conversation this topic led us to!

Mb

I’m never sure it’s a real debate… just something the media fuels. I have the choice and choose to work for a lot of reasons. It is possible I may be more in tune to the outside forces that may impact my career field but even that may be unfair.
- Kate Semp
  
  I agree about media fuel but I would like more women to stop participating in this kind of conversation it’s not worth the media fueling it. Did you see @Punditmom:twitter on Fox and Friends? http://video.foxnews.com/v/1559759756001/
aaustrew

I’m a stay-at-home mom who gave up a lot in order to be home. We could use a second income, but to me, being at home with my daughter was more important than the material losses I would take. I understand not everyone feels that way and not everyone even has the latitude to make that choice.

That said, I was really frustrated today by a lot of people on Twitter and a lot of media outlets who talked about stay-at-home parenting as though every woman who stays home does so because she has a wealthy husband and lives a life of luxury. One article even said, “I think we’ve finally reached the point where we can say that stay-at-home parenthood is solely for the elite.” That is simply not true. Something like 23% of women in this country stay at home, and it’s not because all of them are well-off. It’s just very important to some women, just like it’s very important and rewarding to have a job outside of the home for others.

In regards to your question, I think it’s so touchy because women feel a lot of guilt either way. There are days when I question my choices and feel like I am not contributing anything to society, just as a working mother probably questions her decision and wonders if she should be with her children more. I think the important thing here is that we need to stop trying to disqualify one another’s decisions by pitting circumstance against circumstance and trying to discern who has it tougher. There’s a lot of disrespect from both sides, and it’s really disheartening at times to see how quickly and how violently women will turn on each other.
- Kate Semp
  
  It helped both parties avoid the issue at hand. Women are key decision makers when it comes to household spending and few are talking to women about what their concerns are in regard to the economy. I have to worry not just about my husbands work security but also am I in a position to step in if he loses his job. A few years ago I wasn’t and it had a HUGE impact on how we live now. I will never be that disconnected from the work force again.
  
  We want compassion not competition.

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